Michelle, God and TCM
How I Ended Up Here - Perfect in the Imperfect
I’m always surprised at how God is working in my life. I heard about this opportunity in passing last year, and by God's grace I ended up here this summer. I'm grateful for always viewing ministry as uplifting and purposeful. For me, being able to work at a christian charity allowed me to intentionally seek out where God was working in all aspects of my life. It was a perfect combination of what I love to do, which is marketing, and being able to do it for a cause that's dear to my heart. So, being able to do this internship was a blessing, I’m still discovering.
Even before I remembered to apply for this internship as a summer office intern I was asked to help out during March Break Camp. I helped out for the day and although I was tired because I still had to go to my part time server job after camp was over, I experienced a great joy. Camp was a drastically different experience than I expected. Growing up in a large church I’m used to handling about 10 kids alone, but at the March Break Camp there were about 25 kids with 5 of us watching over them. I actually had time to play and have conversations with kids one-on-one.
I was overjoyed to meet a girl I'm going to call Emily. Emily was having a really hard time, and reminded me of myself, she was struggling to start a drawing for the camp activity. Emily was frustrated and kept saying that anything she drew would be “no good”, discouraged, I tried to help her start the drawing and then turned to help another young artist beside me. When I turned back to Emily, I found that she was so frustrated she started to rip up her drawing, because like her initial fear, the drawing was simply “no good”. I decided to play hangman with her to help pass the time. I feel like God spoke to me, because I wittily made the answer “love yourself”, and after she got it, she said it was her turn, and made the answer “thank you”. I didn’t realize it at the time but I feel like God really touched my heart then, reminding both Emily and I that there is perfect in the imperfect. I was reminded that chasing a life where everything worked out exactly to be how I planned it to be, was a life not focused on God's plan. I realized every time I tried to do it alone I felt discouraged, but when I continued to focus on God I felt hopeful. It’s amazing how God used just one day of March Break Camp, and my first time at Toronto City mission (TCM) for this lesson. I cherish it even more because other times I returned for the afterschool program, I was surprised but this time with laughter as kids were being kids. A group of young boys decided on our walk to eat leaves, aren’t kids so silly! So Emily’s story remains cemented in me, because even if I didn’t leave an impression on her, she left one in my heart.
Training Week - Finding God in Others
God continued to remind me of His presence, especially during the first couple of weeks of being an intern. I got to do fun social media posts like I always do; from all the introduction posts, multiple reels, website editing, and participating in training with the outreach workers, office staff and interns.
Take a look at what I have created so far!
I’ve been reminded by God and others in the office about the justice of God, and the servanthood of this team as they aren’t here for the money, they’re here for their hopes, purpose, and mission. They are ready to engage with these children knowing some of them don’t come from the easiest of situations, and continue to show them they’re resilient and loved, even when the results of their labor isn’t so automatically seen. I was encouraged by how ready to build relationships, and how much care into building relationships each person has. The team's perseverance, grit and support for each other over the 7 free weeks of camp continues to astound me, as well as their eagerness to make these programs work even with sometimes limited resources.
Having had three weeks of training together, I got to learn and bond with the team. Spending time picking up skills like CPR and reminders like listening to God through nature or the different ways we connect to Him, I was able to discover that my care and energeticness are ways I connect to God. This means that caring for others and expressing myself loudly brings me joy. I discovered the different types of poverty that people can experience asides from financial alone; from spiritual, mental, physical etc. these other types of poverty were good to be reminders to me as I believe we are all poor in something, and that’s why we need God. Meaning, financial poverty alone does not make them different from everyone else, as God has justice, and we all fall short of the glory of God.
Seeking God in the Office
In the team's devos and sharings I’ve been convicted of the reminder to always start with “Being with God before doing for God”, to “Let go, and let God”, and I say convicted because it reminds me of my wrong tendencies for serving. I often get obsessed with completing tasks, focusing more on what needed to get done instead of how God was working and using me in those situations. I carried this with me at youth group, and while serving at my university fellowship last year. I think God is using this time to remind me that there is more to him.
We went more frequently into nature than I expected, and I found I was searching for God's voice more intentionally. I had time to think through my life issues that I haven’t given to God yet. In that way, God continues to grant me confusion so I have time to wrestle with myself instead of relying on others.
Another way God has surprised me was in the beginning of the internship I was having trouble sleeping and so I brought it up to the office staff, they prayed for me and the next day I had very restful sleep.
Lastly, being able to visit the different camp sites reminds me of a feeling that’s hard to put into words other than hopefulness. I continue to hope through all of the challenges and my heart feels fuller knowing that we’re doing something. Maybe it's because I’ve never interacted much with urban ministry, but I’m encouraged there's programs such as this one out there helping make a difference right where I want to be in Toronto.