Exploring the Depth of Kindness
In our own lives, a kind person would be seen as nice, generous, thoughtful, and helpful. You can do nice things for people and it reflects a part of the fruit of the Spirit. You can also do nice things for others without having to be particularly religious. The tough part is doing kind things for people who may not be kind to you. Whereas, it is very easy to do acts of kindness to people who are kind to you. Some people can do acts of kindness without having a positive view of that person. It is almost as if you are tolerating them.
We have a rule or expectation at our after-school program that says, “Be respectful with your words and actions” and it was easy to remember, but difficult for the kids to apply. When disrespectful words are thrown, kids would retaliate because that’s justice. When explaining to the kids about respect, we try to explain to them that they may not necessarily like each other or be friends, but what are some ways we can try and get along with one another. In a class setting or work setting, you do not have to like the people you work with nor do you have to be friends with them to work with them. Showing kindness could be like that as well. For example, being kind to your coworkers so that they may reap rewards down the road or being kind to the unkind ones so that they get off your back.
At programs, it’s hard sometimes for the kids to be kind with their words. Whether it’s to intentionally humiliate or harm, protecting their pride or self-esteem as a defense mechanism, it just happens all at the moment. One of the kids asked us why they should be kind when no one is kind to him. Is the purpose of showing kindness to keep the status quo, or preventing a spiraling cycle of word-slinging, or because someone told you so, or is it something else? There was a youth who shared with us that she was kind to others to avoid trouble or to hopefully have those people be kind to her. In truth, kindness does not have to be reciprocated for you to be kind to others.
The Hebrew word “chesed” is the closest thing to kindness, though it can be seen as merciful as well. There is also the Hebrew word “hesed” which refers to God’s character outlined below in Exodus:
“The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation” - Exodus 34:6-7
There is a level of depth in the Bible’s definition of kindness where it’s not about just being nice or doing nice things. It encompasses love, compassion, long-suffering, being merciful, and gracious. God’s kindness is demonstrated through the death and sacrifice of His son Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:7). Furthermore, in the New Testament portion of the Bible, kindness is part of the fruit of the Spirit, associated with Christ-like character, and attached to acting out of love (1 Corinthians 13). It requires putting aside the self and hard-heartedness for it to be seen.
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ”
Showing kindness can be sacrificial. It means taking a loss on our end. It means long-suffering and patience. But it also can be such a small wonderful gesture that reflects your genuine heart and concern for the other. Just like how God shows his kindness to us.