Waiting
One of my favourite movies is Inside Out. I love every bit of the movie, feelings personified, interacting with the outside world, and journey to self-discovery. Ironically, when it comes to myself, I never seem to know what I am feeling. As someone who tends to prioritize tasks and plans, I often ignore and suppress my emotions in the name of getting things done. However, I am reminded that God created emotions for us to feel, not to hide away. So if you’re still reading, pack your bags and your bible and join me on this adventure as I try to make sense of feelings, what the bible says about them and what are my most relevant feelings right now.
If asked what I am predominantly feeling these days, I would say, “waiting”. While waiting itself is not an emotion, it certainly brings with it a range of emotions: excitement, anticipation, frustration, even loneliness, to name a few. There are many instances of waiting in the bible. In Genesis, we see Sarah and Abraham waiting for the fulfillment of God's promise to have children. In 1 Samuel, David is anointed to be king but must endure a period of waiting and even persecution before he assumes kingship over Israel. Across the Old Testament, the Israelites experienced their own long wait for the promised Messiah. These stories take us through examples of hope and trust in God by David to Sarah attempting to take matters into her own hands. While we may not know exactly how they were each feeling, as fellow human beings, we can empathize at least in part with the range of emotions tied to waiting.
At TCM, we too, are often waiting. We wait with feelings of sadness for the child who repeatedly lashes out in anger to find healing. We wait with worry for the youth who once attended our programs but have since disappeared, for their return. We wait with hope for the child who was once engaged with Bible stories but now opts to sit out of those lessons to rejoin us. We can plan and execute the best programs, recruit the best staff and volunteers, have the best facilities, but ultimately, only God can change hearts. And so we wait, trusting in God’s timing for these transformations to unfold, resting in the fact that He can hold all of us, including our range of emotions.
Perhaps I find it difficult to know exactly what I am feeling because I’m experiencing so many different feelings at once. In this season of waiting, I feel excitement and hope for what’s to come, but I also struggle with frustration, feeling stuck and impatient that those things aren’t here yet. I understand that I’m meant to trust in God—and I do! Still, it is perfectly okay to acknowledge that waiting can be difficult. Experiencing and navigating these emotions is part of the journey, and I’m learning to embrace all of it. Finally, I am reminded that as Christians, we spend our whole lives waiting. Waiting for Jesus’ return and to make all things right, waiting with a hope that is sure.
In the meantime, what is it that you are waiting on?
“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”