God's Love

By: Nuri Lee | Outreach Worker in Flemingdon Park

Since March of last year, I have felt so dead. It was because of so many different reasons -- things I was aware of, but also many things I’m sure I’m still unaware of today -- that contributed to my becoming of a blob. My thoughts were, “God, just show me that You love me, because I am not feeling it at all,” and, “God, I don’t feel loved. Therefore, I shall not love.” Even though these weren’t the things I was explicitly saying, it was ultimately what I said through my actions. Nothing encouraged me and I dragged my feet to everything I had to do. I’m very dramatic. But because of my melodrama, my emotions are so much more intense when I ride through them that I decide to just shut them off and not feel anything instead. Isn’t it easier that way? ← I don’t know why I believe this lie every time. I don’t have an exact moment in mind when I was reminded that God’s love for us is a choice He daily makes. It’s an active decision He chooses because it’s just a fact and by His grace that I can be loved -- especially by Him. Even though I was still having that struggle of not feeling loved, this reminder of choice was truth enough for me to know that I am loved, even if I wasn’t constantly feeling it. It also made me remember that my love for God and others is also a choice I need to daily make. Why do I think pure love is a natural thing to flow from a sinner like me? 

Right now, the kids in TCM’s KIC programs are going through 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. They’re understanding God’s love for them and how they can also show God’s love to others. They’re starting to grasp how to apply aspects of God’s love like patience, kindness, and humility in their everyday life. Just this past Valentine's Day, the kids were given the opportunity to participate in a video that you can check out down below!

I praise God for the reminder of his love through my times with the children, youth, and parents, and in my personal life. That He humbles me in such gentle ways every time. It is a choice to love and seek joy in all circumstances, and I pray that this is what you and I can continue striving towards daily.